Get all 5 Van Tassel releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of MILK GLASSES, Yesterday On Repeat, Everything I Have / The First Time, Broken / Stab Me, and When I Was Young / Don't Rely.
1. |
Dull
02:52
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I want to be me again
I don’t need anyone else
I need to feel the pain again
To remember why I’m still here
It’s not the first time
That I let the paranoia get to me
It’s not the last time that
Reality bites back
I need a real incentive
To make it to the end of the week
Blinded, conceited, abandoned
Reborn
I want to steal your pills again
I don’t care how much it hurts
I need to kill it off again
Make sure I disappear
If it helps I’ll pretend that I’m happy
I’ll pretend that I care, that I’m sorry
I hope one day
I’ll forgive myself
I know one day
I’ll forget anyway
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2. |
Rules Of Redemption
03:03
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Stop finding excuses to be alone
Don’t blame your father for your failures
You are not the victim
And nobody cares how sad you feel
I know it’s my fault
Even if I thought I was right
The rules of redemption
Can’t bring me closer to you
Lowest of the low
At least that’s what I thought
The rules of redemption
Never bring me close enough
Be a friend but don’t give yourself away too soon
Don’t expect anybody to care about you
Especially if your hurting
Accept that your are nothing
You will die this way
When you give something away
It wasn’t about you
It’s the way that everything should be
So sad and alone
And free
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3. |
Red Crosss
04:06
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Spread your faith over me, thinly
Over all my bad intentions
You’re going to learn to live with them
Like that scar on your face
It’s so much easier for everything to go wrong
than anything to feel right
No more emergencies, no surprises
Blood runs red everywhere you go
Red crosses everywhere
Still we act like we don’t care
Love and hate are the same
Just forgot how much they hurt
We knew it would be hard
Not impossible
We’ll just run away
As fast as we can
We’ll never get anywhere
Just like we planned
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4. |
Dulling
02:39
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It’s not me
Who I’m so desperate to be
That I just want to impress and feel like
I’m part of the problem
You just do
Who you want and when you want to
You tell me something without speaking
It’s all noise
Take more off the edges
I want to be the problem
Tell me how dumb I am
I was innocent but still I pleaded guilty
For all the things I did to you
I must of had it coming
It’s cruel
It’s wrong
It’s everything you don’t want
But you have to do it anyway
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5. |
Sissy Boy
03:06
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Maybe I’m not big enough
At least I know not to bluff
You think you’re livin’ it up
Just ‘cause you’re older, it doesn’t make you wiser
You might be bitter, but no one needs to know that
Wasted your life thinkin’ you’d get it all back
You can hate me if you want
That won’t make me go away
I’ll come back
You’ll have to cry alone
Keep everything in
‘Cause you’re a sissy boy
Not a real man to me
You’ll have to crawl back home
Lose everything again
‘Cause you’re a sissy boy
Not a real man to me
Maybe I’ll never become
What you really want of me
I’m just done tryin’ so hard
Being somebody for everybody else
I know it’s not that bad to be
Someone that never disagrees
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6. |
To Be Unhappy
03:09
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I spent half my life numbing the pain
And what was left hiding the fear
Constantly looking for ways
To pretend
I’m free
I’m somebody
I’m not ugly
It’s not half as bad
As I thought it would be
Still I try to find
Reasons to be unhappy
I saw the dark clouds coming
Didn’t know the storm would last this long
Now I just watch and listen
I always see the worst
At least I see it coming
I’m still afraid
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7. |
Duller
04:45
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Total admiration for your self-control
Fighting between the questions and the answers
I never got it right
I couldn’t catch up but it all caught up to me
Now all I do is regret and I can never forget
How perfect it was and how much I loved
Not being alone, then again I didn’t realize
You deserved much more, than just my presence
Good people don’t take others for granted
I know I’m not good
Even if I want to be
I guess I’m less than I thought I was
I’m the insecurity hiding in the shadows
I’ll have everything or nothing at all
What used to matter doesn’t matter no more
One day I won’t see through the fog
Inside my head, all around my neck
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8. |
Shame Shame Shame
03:37
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Make believe that you don’t know me
I’ll make believe that I don’t like you
It’s not my inhibition
It’s the walls that I built around myself
I built a kingdom for one
But it’s never gonna cum
Shame, shame, shame
Every morning when I wake up
It’s a shame, it’s a shame, it’s a shame
That I can’t remember what I did last night
I’ll just pretend that it never happened
Neutral to nothing
Without an opinion
The truth doesn’t matter anymore
Through all the broken windows
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9. |
Y.O.R.
04:13
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Completely disappointed in myself, caught in a web
I don’t know when it started or how it’s gonna end
Yesterday on repeat
Are we there yet? I’m getting kind of bored and annoyed
The needles move so slow and the faces go by so fast
The sun is setting and I already know
Won’t have the heart to finish anything I started
If there’s a problem we can fix it
Maybe tomorrow
Completely disempowered over my own decision making
I don’t know how I lost it and if i’ll ever take it back
Yesterday on repeat
Week after week I’m losing track of everything, I ever cared about
Lost in a city that I don’t know, I want to get back home in my bed
Until I black-out, vomit and pass-out
I’ll just keep wandering, looking for comfort
In all the wrong embraces
Nothing ever changes
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10. |
Dullest
05:20
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Nothing was ever perfect
I was in control
Everything hit at once
I fell to my knees
Nothing like the first time
You have to learn to forget
Even if you’ll never forgive
This kind of pain never heals
I won’t repeat myself anymore
I’d be dead already
If I were to die
I’ll break the cycle
To make sure I survive
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